The Smoking Lamp-JLU-2001's Birds of Prey #8
TSL #63
JLU-2001
Birds of Prey #8
"The Bird, The Beetle, and The Monster"
By Alex Hayden
The action in the opening sequence is good.
I would recommend breaking it up into more sentences. Describe each event more, instead of having so much happen in between one set of periods.
"...injected something into the man's body." This would have worked better if "something" had been replaced with "a dark ichor", "a red stain", or going with the man's pallor at first appearance "a cold looking white fluid that pulsed as it drained into the victim's neck." Drop the somethings and use some adjectives.
Even with those issues, once past the introductory section and into the meat of the story, these problems didn't reoccur. Either that or they seemed to disappear against the action and pacing of the story.
Langstrom...hmmmmm. That name...
I do prefer Ted Kord, big business mogul over whipping boy joke-oholic.
Hmmm, Lillian is into something much bigger than a failed genetics experiment. Shame Kord didn't have a better idea of what his money was being spent on.
Obviously, I thought this was going to be a Man-Bat story when I saw the name Langstrom, but the Vlad character has me wondering...that and his creating an army of Children of the Night. I don't seem to remember Man-Bat doing that.
Funny. I never considered Batman impatient. All in the perspective. I could see where his leaping into a situation where he can get physical and disrupting it instead of waiting to let it develop would be seen that way though. Good catch.
HA! I just can't get used to Oracle being called "O". Instantly puts me in mind of a basketball court and my getting dunked on by a future All-American in a pick-up game that I had no business being a part of.
Great move. Great scene. Lillian reveals her hand. Great stuff.
Like the "Die Hard/Lethal Weapon" limo diving scene.
Okay...Lillian is an evil bitch. There, I said it. Cool. Good villain. Evil.
The fight scene where Canary is facing Vlad as he stalks toward the beaten Blue Beetle has the same feel as the first introductory section. The fight scene is sort of clunky. But once the fight moved beyond the one-on-one stage and Faith and Thunder took a role, the sequence improved.
So...where and when does the rest of this story appear?
Despite the shortcomings, the story and pacing pulled this along and sparked really well.
7.0 out of 10 cigars.
JLU-2001
Birds of Prey #8
"The Bird, The Beetle, and The Monster"
By Alex Hayden
The action in the opening sequence is good.
I would recommend breaking it up into more sentences. Describe each event more, instead of having so much happen in between one set of periods.
"...injected something into the man's body." This would have worked better if "something" had been replaced with "a dark ichor", "a red stain", or going with the man's pallor at first appearance "a cold looking white fluid that pulsed as it drained into the victim's neck." Drop the somethings and use some adjectives.
Even with those issues, once past the introductory section and into the meat of the story, these problems didn't reoccur. Either that or they seemed to disappear against the action and pacing of the story.
Langstrom...hmmmmm. That name...
I do prefer Ted Kord, big business mogul over whipping boy joke-oholic.
Hmmm, Lillian is into something much bigger than a failed genetics experiment. Shame Kord didn't have a better idea of what his money was being spent on.
Obviously, I thought this was going to be a Man-Bat story when I saw the name Langstrom, but the Vlad character has me wondering...that and his creating an army of Children of the Night. I don't seem to remember Man-Bat doing that.
Funny. I never considered Batman impatient. All in the perspective. I could see where his leaping into a situation where he can get physical and disrupting it instead of waiting to let it develop would be seen that way though. Good catch.
HA! I just can't get used to Oracle being called "O". Instantly puts me in mind of a basketball court and my getting dunked on by a future All-American in a pick-up game that I had no business being a part of.
Great move. Great scene. Lillian reveals her hand. Great stuff.
Like the "Die Hard/Lethal Weapon" limo diving scene.
Okay...Lillian is an evil bitch. There, I said it. Cool. Good villain. Evil.
The fight scene where Canary is facing Vlad as he stalks toward the beaten Blue Beetle has the same feel as the first introductory section. The fight scene is sort of clunky. But once the fight moved beyond the one-on-one stage and Faith and Thunder took a role, the sequence improved.
So...where and when does the rest of this story appear?
Despite the shortcomings, the story and pacing pulled this along and sparked really well.
7.0 out of 10 cigars.
posted by Mark "Puff" Anderson | 8:45 AM
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