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...punching on the walls of reality since 2005...
Puff House is embedded at the bottom of this page. Or click on the spitfire image above to go direct to my new blog, Puff House.

Through the Smoke...

Free Speech. NASCAR. Trivia. Bitching and moaning.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Texas, United States

Neo-Redneck into...Free Speech. NASCAR. NFL. Trivia. Comic books. Nerd propaganda, Geek culture. Biting social commentary, bitching and moaning...WARNING: This is not journalism, mainstream or citizen. Anything presented is flavored by my diseased mind, my frustration and/or my sarcastic wit. Not necessarily in that order. You were warned.

Friday, April 28, 2006

The tragedy that was MLBer Steve Howe's Life Reaches Its Final Chapter

Rest in peace.



Click here for the story.

This Just Made Illegal Immigrants Getting Into the Country Harder...

...because they are going to be bumping into dopeheads trying to go the other way.



Mexico has a bill before their legislature to legalize marijuana, cocaine, LSD, and heroin in small, user-friendly amounts. Supposedly this will allow their police to concentrate on the dealers.

Uh huh.

Who is going to be selling those, uhm, dosages to the users then? Wonder if this will be used to reduce taxes in Mexico?

Hmm...I wonder how much tax you could get away with charging on a pack of marijuana cigarettes?

The King of Cheese for One More Year...


Brett Favre announced a few days ago that he will play the '06-07 season.

Now then...all we need is someone to run the ball and someone to catch the ball...a defense...and Favre to throw 50% fewer interceptions this coming season.

Love my Packers...but I've got some misgivings facing the upcoming season.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Whoa, Nellie!

Keith Jackson announces his retirement from full-time broadcasting.

The voice of American sports alongside Curt Gowdy, he will be missed.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

20 Years Ago Today...



The Chernobyl nuclear plant experienced a catastrophic meltdown in Reactor #4. We'll never know how many people died and continue to die today.

Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Say It Ain't So!



Ricky Williams has been suspended by the NFL for violating their drug policy...again.

He's one strike away from bonging himself out of the NFL forever.

Sigh, he had so much talent.

Subway Fresh 500 at Phoenix, AZ...the Just Us Cupdate

The Race Report

Harvick Sweeps Race Weekend at the Diamond in the Desert

Margolis's Observation Deck - Covering...Busting Fox on Their Commerical Time Outs Eating into the Green Flag Restarts, I Thought That Was Mainly an NBC Problem...The Comparison Between Last Year's Kasey Kahne and This Year's Elliot Sadler-The Common Denominator, Tommy Baldwin...Waltrip's Tough Season, Mikey Just Get Through It, Cause Next Year is Toyota Time

Mr. Harvick...Deal or No Deal

Somebody pay the man.


If Harvick Leaves RCR, Could Jr. Take His Place?

Dale Earnhardt Inc Will Honor the Memory of Its Founder on His Birthday. All the DEI Cars This Weekend at Taladega will have Paint Schemes Reminiscent of the Intimidator.

That is just a freakin' sharp car.


Complete Finishing Order

1 Kevin Harvick (29)
2 Tony Stewart (20)
3 Matt Kenseth (17)
4 Carl Edwards (99)
5 Clint Bowyer (07)
6 Kasey Kahne (9)
7 Jimmie Johnson (48)
8 Bobby Labonte (43)
9 Jeff Burton (31)
10 Jeff Gordon (24)
11 Mark Martin (6)
12 Sterling Marlin (14)
13 Brian Vickers (25)
14 Jamie McMurray (26)
15 Greg Biffle (16)
16 Ken Schrader (21)
17 Tony Raines (96)
18 Jeff Green (66)
19 Dale Jarrett (88)
20 Casey Mears (42)
21 Travis Kvapil (32)
22 Martin Truex Jr. (1)
23 Dale Earnhardt Jr. (8)
24 Kurt Busch (2)
25 Kenny Wallace (178)
26 Jeremy Mayfield (19)
27 Dave Blaney (22)
28 J.J. Yeley (18)
29 David Stremme (40)
30 Scott Wimmer (4)
31 Kyle Petty (45)
32 Brent Sherman (49)
33 Stanton Barrett Jr. (95)
34 Denny Hamlin (11)
35 Joe Nemechek (01)
36 Kyle Busch (5)
37 Elliott Sadler (38)
38 Scott Riggs (10)
39 Ryan Newman (12)
40 Reed Sorenson (41)
41 Robby Gordon (7)
42 Michael Waltrip (55)
43 Brandon Ash (102)

The Just Us Cup-date

Place - Driver
Finishing Points
Deduction (DNQ/Prov -5, DNF -5,
Bonus (Pole +5, Most Laps Led +5, Win +5)
TOTAL

1st - Kevin Harvick (29)
Finish - 70
Win - 5
TOTAL - 75

4th - Carl Edwards (99)
Finish - 65
TOTAL - 65

6th - Kasey Kahne (9)
Finish - 60
TOTAL - 60

7th - Jimmie Johnson (48)
Finish - 55
TOTAL - 55

10th - Jeff Gordon (24)
Finish - 50
TOTAL - 50

11th - Mark Martin (6)
Finish - 45
TOTAL - 45

14th - Jamie McMurray (26)
Finish - 40
TOTAL - 40

15th - Greg Biffle (16)
Finish - 35
Most Laps Led - 5
TOTAL - 40

16th - Ken Schrader (21)
Finish - 30
TOTAL - 30

19th - Dale Jarrett (88)
Finish - 25
TOTAL - 25

23rd - Dale Earnhardt Jr. (8)
Finish - 20
TOTAL - 20

24th - Kurt Busch (2)
Finish - 15
TOTAL - 15

37th - Elliott Sadler (38)
Finish - 10
TOTAL - 10

42nd - Michael Waltrip (55)
Finish - 5
Prov - -5
DNF - -5
TOTAL - -5

Kyle Busch won the Pole.

Next Up: Taladega, AL

Monday, April 24, 2006

Panning for Diamonds

I don't know about you, but this sounds fun.

Crater of Diamonds...hmmm, the whole extinct volcano in Arkansas seems odd to me, but what the hell.

Probably have as much chance of finding a big one as you would of hitting it big at the Casinos, Indian or Vegasite.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Pack of Dogs Take Down Alligator



Thanks, Amy.

3,000 Gallons of Sewage...

Eeewwww!

Yeah, I'd say the city better step up to the table and cover hotel stays and repair to the home, unless they are going to condemn the home and give the homeowner compensation.

I just can't imagine a sewer volcano going off in my house.

Ick!

Imagine...You Come Home to Find...a Nude Carpenter Working In Your House!

Yep, apparently really happened to these people in Oakland, California.

This just doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Carpentry in the buff is just asking for trouble. Hammers, nails, wood splinters and fleshy parts just don't make a good mix.

Wha???

Ted Kennedy announces that he would back Kerry for another run at the White House in '08.

I thought I had read somewhere that Teddy had stopped drinking...guess I was wrong.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

The Casting Couch...



He propositioned her, promising her a role in his next movie.

She, believing that he had pull in Hollywood following the success of Narnia, said yes.

It's a story as old as Hollywood.

Next week, he has an appointment to get her into the Church of Scientology.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Will Work for Cheese



Columbian officials are training rats to sniff out bombs, landmines, etc. Apparently their snifters are on a level that makes them comparable and in some places superior to dogs.

This rated about a six on my weird-shit-o-meter.

Wrong! Wrong! WRONG!

While searching for some Optical Character Recognition software for Jerry's scanner, I plugged the following into a search engine...

Lexmark X74 X75 OCR Optical Character Recognition download driver

And started working my way down the results list.

The #10 result shocked me.

...

It may not be appropriate for those of you who are easily offended.

...

The #10 freaking result when I was searching for a scanner driver/software bit was...

Bald Teen P***y

I about shit myself.

The data said that it was included because of the word "optical".

So I guess that means if I were looking for glasses, I'd suddenly have a screen full of naked girls.

Geez!

Yahoo's Disease Buzz

The top 4 disease searches on Yahoo...

1. Bubonic Plague

2. Diabetes

3. Bird Flu

4. Mumps

Now, there are 4 cheery damned thoughts.

Enjoy the rest of your day...

You're Welcome...

Same to you.

SIDEBAR: Just a brief addenda...how common is mumps in the modern world?

The spellchecker tried to tell me that there was no such word.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

One stop shopping...

I've set up a second blog as an online storehouse for my stories.

The first one up is Perceptions. And Uncle Sam story set in the post-911, pre-Iraq invasion months.

I may drop in some originals as I go along and continue to try and sharpen my skills.

You can find the story at Fan Fic Storehouse.

Social Jet Lag

From the journal, Chronobiology International via World Wide Words...

Our natural internal rhythms, chronotype, are being interrupted. We each have a genetic predetermination on our chronotype. Some of us are night owls and some aren't. Some of us can bounce up out of bed ready to rock and roll in the morning and some of us are slower starters. The chronotype is set or reset by daylight...but artificial light be it from fluorescent bulbs or computer screens also impact the chronotype.

But we all do things to our bodies that cause us to experience Social Jet Lag.

Office workers who spend hours in front of their computer screens have chronotypes which tend to reset too often and don't have an opportunity to reset normally, leading to trouble rising in the morning.

I'm betting that television screens that stay lit all night and shine down on us as we sleep effect this as well.

Then, let's add the other impactors...kids putting their feet, knees, and/or heads into the small of your back while you are trying to sleep, crackhead neighbors who "seem to be" running a business out of their house that is open all hours of the night, barking dogs, yowling cats, idiots doing burnouts in the street, snoring spouses, heat, cold, busy minds, restless leg syndrome, constipation, etc, etc, etc...everything has an impact. It's not like we all sleep in sensory deprivation tanks.

I don't know if I buy the study that says that the more out-of-synch you are the more likely you are to be a smoker. Seems like an odd conclusion to jump to. And the study only had 500 volunteers. I'd need to see something with a larger control group to buy into that.

On off days, do you seem to sleep extra? Do you sleep for half of your time off? Professor Roenneberg from the University of Hamburg believes that this could signal Social Jet Lag.

Some people run a sleep deficit of 7 hours or more. This is based on measuring from the midpoint of a work night's sleep to the midpoint of an off night's sleep.

Beyond the possible connection to increased smoking, seems like the further out-of-sync someone is the more crabby they would be.

Is it voodoo science? Possibly.

Is it interesting? Yes.

Should we all get as much good sleep as we require? Absolutely. Crabby, sleepy people suck.

Monday, April 17, 2006

It's only April 17th...



And...it's already a hundred degrees in Texas!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Zacharias Moussaoui Sentencing...

Personally, I think we should hang him up somewhere and let everyone in the U.S., who wants to come, throw rocks at him until there isn't anything left to throw rocks at.

Either that or we should agree to release him in Iraq...release him out the bomb bay doors of a B-1B as it banks over the desert at about 50,000 feet.

The Just Us Standings Have Not Updated Yet! Please Standby!

Probably happening either later tonight or early tomorrow.

Sorry.

Reasons Not to Go Kayak Fishing in the Ocean...Hell, Reasons Not to Go Kayaking in the Ocean, Period!!!



The shark is saying, "Here seal! Here seal! Good boy! That's a good boy! Stay right there while I eat you! Good seal!

Credit to Craig, who sent me the pic.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Thanks...

We're through our computer problems for now thanks to Jerry Hood and Darla Kenney.

Thanks to you both very much.

Mark

Samsung/Radio Shack 500 at Ft. Worth, TX...The Just Us Cupdate

The Race Report

Kahne Wins at Texas

Kasey Kahne...prospects for 2006

The Margolis Observations...Riggs Was Riding a Rocketship Toward the Front in the Closing Laps, Maybe Someone Should Revisit the Idea of Whether Kurt Busch Bears his Former Roush Colleagues Any Ill Will After the Busch/Biffle Incident, Kyle Busch Wrecked Clint Bowyer on the Backstretch Going to the Checkered Flag...Must Be a Genetic Thing, and Other Stuff.

Point of order, Margolis is over generalizing a bit about Texas race fans. We aren't all Dale Jr. fans. Some are...many aren't. I'm partial to Ken Schrader and Carl Edwards.


B is for Vendetta, the Busch One-Man Wrecking Crew

"The toll thus far this season: Jamie McMurray at Daytona (although McMurray arguably was more at fault for that incident), Matt Kenseth at Bristol, Jeff Burton at Martinsville and Greg Biffle in Sunday's Samsung/RadioShack 500 here at Texas."

Comparing Busch to Earnhardt, Sr., as they do in the article, is bunk. Earnhardt, Sr. was respected. Busch isn't. If anyone is getting Earnhardt respect right now, I'd put my money on it being Tony Stewart. As they said in the telecast on Fox, a rear view mirror full of the orange #20 isn't something a driver wants to see.
RaceFlash...Lap by Lap

NASCAR Reprimanded Biffle's Girlfriend After She Went to Have a Little Talk on Pit Road with Kurt Busch's Fiance After Busch Wrecked Biffle in a Blantant Dirty Move on Sunday

From where I sit more power to her. That was a good example of NASCAR's family values right there. Would have been cooler if she would have grabbed her by her hair and drug her down off the pit box, but what the hey.




Complete Finishing Order

1 Kasey Kahne (9)
2 Matt Kenseth (17)
3 Tony Stewart (20)
4 Denny Hamlin (11)
5 Kevin Harvick (29)
6 Jeff Burton (31)
7 Scott Riggs (10)
8 Martin Truex Jr. (1)
9 Mark Martin (6)
10 Bobby Labonte (43)
11 Jimmie Johnson (48)
12 Dale Earnhardt Jr. (8)
13 Reed Sorenson (41)
14 Casey Mears (42)
15 Kyle Busch (5)
16 Ken Schrader (21)
17 Dale Jarrett (88)
18 Jeff Green (66)
19 Clint Bowyer (07)
20 Robby Gordon (7)
21 David Stremme (40)
22 Jeff Gordon (24)
23 Joe Nemechek (01)
24 Tony Raines (96)
25 Terry Labonte (44)
26 Michael Waltrip (55)
27 Travis Kvapil (32)
28 Scott Wimmer (4)
29 Dave Blaney (22)
30 Sterling Marlin (14)
31 Jeremy Mayfield (19)
32 Kevin Lepage (61)
33 Elliott Sadler (38)
34 Kurt Busch (2)
35 J.J. Yeley (18)
36 Carl Edwards (99)
37 Jamie McMurray (26)
38 Mike Garvey (151)
39 Kyle Petty (45)
40 Ryan Newman (12)
41 Derrike Cope (74)
42 Greg Biffle (16)
43 Brian Vickers (25)

The Just Us Cup-date

Place - Driver
Finishing Points
Deduction (DNQ/Prov -5, DNF -5,
Bonus (Pole +5, Most Laps Led +5, Win +5)
TOTAL

1st - Kasey Kahne (9)
Finish - 70
Pole - 5
Win - 5
TOTAL - 80

5th - Kevin Harvick (29)
Finish - 65
TOTAL - 65

9th - Mark Martin (6)
Finish - 60
TOTAL - 60

11TH - Jimmie Johnson (48)
Finish - 55
TOTAL - 55

12th - Dale Earnhardt Jr. (8)
Finish - 50
TOTAL - 50

16th - Ken Schrader (21)
Finish - 45
TOTAL - 45

17th - Dale Jarrett (88)
Finish - 40
TOTAL - 40

22nd - Jeff Gordon (24)
Finish - 35
TOTAL - 35

26th - Michael Waltrip (55)
Finish - 30
TOTAL - 30

33rd - Elliott Sadler (38)
Finish - 25
DNF - -5
TOTAL - 20

34th - Kurt Busch (2)
Finish - 20
TOTAL - 20

36th - Carl Edwards (99)
Finish - 15
DNF - -5
TOTAL - 10

37th - Jamie McMurray (26)
Finish - 10
DNF - -5
TOTAL - 5

42nd - Greg Biffle (16)
Finish - 5
DNF - -5
TOTAL - 0

No provisionals were taken. Everyone made the field on time per Jayski's Qualifying breakdown. Tony Stewart led the most laps, so no one gets that bonus.

And for those who asked, I can't penalize Kurt Busch for being an asshole. Thank you.


Next Up: Off Weekend for Easter...though a lot of the drivers will be appearing in the Saturday Busch race.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Temporarily Experiencing Difficulties...

Please stand by

...or rather check back in a few days.

Home base computer issues.

Thank you.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

I've Said It Before...And I'll Say It Again...

Thumbs Down......Thumbs Down......Thumbs Down Thumbs Down......Thumbs Down


NBC Sucks!!!!!

NBC sent "Muslim" looking men to the race at Martinsville, VA and followed them around with a hidden camera crew. Obviously trying to create a story. Fishing for crazed rednecks who could embarass NASCAR and give NBC a chance to rattle the sabre and make themselves look smug.

Joke was on them though. According to Forbes, race fans didn't bother the men while they were at the track. Fox reported the Dateline actions as well.

Probably comes back to NBC being pissy because they are losing their race coverage to ABC/ESPN. And again...as I've said before...NBC's NASCAR race coverage sucks donkey ass.

It's a shame too cause Brian Williams is a big NASCAR fan.

5 from the Smoke #3



Heard these via my Launchcast station, puffdoggydaddy.

song XXL(2005)
artist - Keith Anderson

Country, butt boogie. Good stuff.

TtCS ranking 5 Stars
-----------------------------------------------------------
song Unleashed(2005)
artist - Chris Classic

Grabbing a big handful of Nazareth's Hair of the Dog wins this song the "Heard it in a Commercial First" award for 2005.

TtCS ranking 5 Stars
-----------------------------------------------------------
song Sugar, We're Going Down(2005)
artist - Fall Out Boy

This song could've been a hit whenever it came out. It would fit in most any era.

TtCS ranking 5 Stars
-----------------------------------------------------------
song SOS(2006)
artist - Rihanna

Best thing about this is that it heavily samples "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell. I guess it's alright. I'd listen to it again.

TtCS ranking 3 Stars

Click play below to start video.


-----------------------------------------------------------
song I'm in Love with a Stripper(2005)
artist - T-Pain

Catchy. Damn catchy.

TtCS ranking 4 Stars

In Search of the Perfect Halloween Costume...

I'm thinking I dress Princess up like this and I wear a suit and carry a silver tray around.

Get it...

She's Batman and I'd be...Alfred.

Somehow seems appropriate since I feel like the dog's butler anyway.

HA!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

This Just In...


Matt Laurer blew the engine in his car doing victory donuts in the NBC Today Show parking lot when this announcement was made.

Word has it that he also melted the rear wheels off the car while waving his clenched fist out the window and screaming "Woo hoo!"

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

DirecTV 500 at Martinsville, VA -- The Just Us Cupdate

The Race Report

Tony Stewart Wins Martinsville

Martinsville...Inside Out on the Inside Groove

Mark Martin, the SI Interview

The NEXTEL Cup Notebook on Martinsville

Larry McReynolds Talking Car of Tomorrow and Wings

Personally, I hope the wing concept gets canned. I don't want my stock cars to have wings on the back. Screw that.


NEXTEL Cup May Not Be NEXTEL Cup for Much Longer!

The Race to the Chase

The Martinsville Observations

Complete Finishing Order

1 Tony Stewart (20)
2 Jeff Gordon (24)
3 Jimmie Johnson (48)
4 Dale Earnhardt Jr. (8)
5 Kyle Busch (5)
6 Elliott Sadler (38)
7 Kevin Harvick (29)
8 Brian Vickers (25)
9 Jamie McMurray (26)
10 Scott Riggs (10)
11 Kurt Busch (2)
12 Reed Sorenson (41)
13 Mark Martin (6)
14 Sterling Marlin (14)
15 Dale Jarrett (88)
16 Carl Edwards (99)
17 Dave Blaney (22)
18 Ryan Newman (12)
19 Martin Truex Jr. (1)
20 J.J. Yeley (18)
21 Tony Raines (96)
22 Clint Bowyer (07)
23 Joe Nemechek (01)
24 Matt Kenseth (17)
25 Jeff Green (66)
26 Jeremy Mayfield (19)
27 Casey Mears (42)
28 Scott Wimmer (4)
29 Michael Waltrip (55)
30 Kyle Petty (45)
31 Greg Biffle (16)
32 Bobby Labonte (43)
33 Jeff Burton (31)
34 Travis Kvapil (32)
35 Kasey Kahne (9)
36 Chad Chaffin (34)
37 Denny Hamlin (11)
38 David Stremme (40)
39 Stanton Barrett Jr. (95)
40 Ken Schrader (21)
41 Mike Garvey (151)
42 Chad Blount (92)
43 Robby Gordon (7)

The Just Us Cup-date

Place - Driver
Finishing Points
Deduction (DNQ/Prov -5, DNF -5,
Bonus (Pole +5, Most Laps Led +5, Win +5)
TOTAL

2nd - Jeff Gordon (24)
Finish - 70
TOTAL - 70

3rd - Jimmie Johnson (48)
Finish - 65
Pole - 5
TOTAL - 70

4th - Dale Earnhardt Jr. (8)
Finish - 60
TOTAL - 60

6th - Elliott Sadler (38)
Finish - 55
TOTAL - 55

7th - Kevin Harvick (29)
Finish - 50
TOTAL -50

9th - Jamie McMurray (26)
Finish - 45
TOTAL - 45

11th - Kurt Busch (2)
Finish - 40
TOTAL - 40

13th - Mark Martin (6)
Finish - 35
TOTAL - 35

15th - Dale Jarrett (88)
Finish - 30
TOTAL - 30

16th - Carl Edwards (99)
Finish - 25
TOTAL - 25

29th - Michael Waltrip (55)
Finish - 20
TOTAL - 20

31st - Greg Biffle (16)
Finish - 15
TOTAL - 15

35th - Kasey Kahne (9)
Finish - 10
DNF - -5
TOTAL - 5

40th - Ken Schrader (21)
Finish - 5
DNF - -5
TOTAL - 0

Next Up: The Samsung/Radio Shack 500 at Ft. Worth, TX


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