Epsilon Rising

Tropical Storm Epsilon has formed east of Bermuda.

National Hurricane Center forecasts it to not approach land, but it could cause some wave upsets in Bermuda.

With the First Pick in the 2006 NFL Draft, the ????? Take...

The Reggie Bush(USC)/Matt Leinert(USC)/Vince Young(Texas) sweepstakes sweeps onward toward its conclusion.

Look at the "Worst in the NFL" table at left to keep track of how the teams are doing. There are still 4 strong, or should that be weak, candidates in the running; NY Jets, San Francisco 49ers, Green Bay Packers, and Houston Texans.

Go Green Bay.

Reggie Bush would look great in green and gold.

Let's see:

Reggie Bush, a re-conditioned Javon Walker coming back from injury, either Brett Favre plays one more season or Aaron Rogers steps up to the plate and gets his chance in the NFL.

Could be a good time to be a Packer fan again, a lot sooner than it otherwise could have been.

Horse Feathers...I Mean Feces...

Geez...

A member of the Corps at Texas A&M threw horse shit at the Texas Longhorn band before the Longhorn-Aggie game on Friday.

Geez...

Nice to see that it's just a friendly game...

Click here for the story.

For the Kids...

Healthy Habits for Kids from Lysol

A free booklet from Lysol.

Features coloring, mazes and other stuff.

Check it out...order free copies for your little ones.

For All Our Friends Here at Cigar Smoke...

Put a hat on that soldier...the life you save may be your own or that of someone you love.

And for God's sake, if you don't know, go get tested.

There are few enough people that I give a damn about in the world as it is...don't make it one less.

...yes, I did just make it all about me...have you not been paying attention?

HA!

Be Safe!

Warren Ellis, Playtagger, and Curmudgeons of the World Unite...Okay, Nothing So Grandiose...

Warren Ellis is probably my favorite modern British curmudgeon. He is, also, one of the best, if not the best, comic book author/graphic novelist in the business today.

He dropped something on his mailing list, while discussing del.icio.us releasing a new code called Play Tagger that allows a mp3 to play in your webpage with one click, that made me see him as a kindred bastard and I had to share...

...if the future of the web as a communications channel for the arts is going to emerge from this Web 2.0 bullshit,and if the conversation is going to be reclaimed from people who think hermits making Star Wars models out of autism-medication wrappers is news, then it's going to be through little things like this. Things that make it easier for people to talk...

I agree.

Beware when curmudgeons agree and, even more so, when they try to be optimistic.

HA!

Are You Experienced?

Jimi Hendrix was born on this day in 1942.

One of the most influential guitarist ever.

Hands down.

And he passed way too soon.

The Super Suit

I don't like the textured look of the Superman emblem on the costume.

It should be smoother and the colors should be brighter.

Of course, that's just me...I've only been reading comic books for 33 of my 38 years. What do I know?

A Nicer More Politically Correct Way to Call Someone a Dumb Ass

By way of the excellent World Wide Words newsletter comes the word Ninnyhammer, meaning a fool or simpleton.

The word has vanished from conspicuous usage and fallen along the wayside into antique language. The only usage that can be found in modern parlance is in an admonishment given by Gandalf the Wizard to Samwise Gamgee in J. R. R. Tolkein's The Lord of the Rings.

Whether this gave rise to the current word ninny or if ninny was the forerunner of ninnyhammer isn't known.

So the next time that you want to appear like a pretentious twit while chewing someone out, please feel free.

Shock Value with Bob Blah Blogger

Way to Go Fox!
--------------------

Idiots!

At 12:30 PM, early afternoon, Thanksgiving Day...less than an hour and a half since the end of the Macy's Parade and the arrival of Santa that all our children watched and loved...

What did Fox show?

A guy in a Santa suit sitting in the stands at the Atlanta Falcons-Detroit Lions game drinking a beer and pulling down his beard.

How far up their asses do they have their heads stuffed?

Stuff like this burns me up.

Can't you hear it all across the country..."No darlin' that's not the real Santa."

Bastards.

Batmobile Lost Its Wheel and Joker Got Away...

The T-shirt...


For Sale here.

I think this is cool.

Thanks to the great guys over at the Great Curve for pointing it out.

John Kerry - Jury Duty

John Kerry served on jury duty and was elected Jury Foreman.

Now wouldn't it have been funny if he wouldn't have been elected the foreman.

HA!

U. S. Border Patrol to End "Catch and Release" Practice

Good.

A border policy focused on deportation of illegals back to their country of origin is way, way overdue.

Read the story here.

Getting The Kids Attention...

I like this. I could have seen my step-dad making me stand on a street corner somewhere like this, if I had screwed up and let my grades drop.

If as a parent, you have went to the well and tried...what is wrong with taking it up a notch.

This is up a notch. I'd much rather see her mother take this action rather than at a future point having to deal with her standing on a street corner for an entirely different reason.

The rose-colored glasses, touchy-feely, American sensibility of child rearing is such a pain in the ass.

Dr. Phil can't raise your kids for you. Oprah can't raise your kids for you. Spongebob can't raise you kids for you. Same with Dr. Seuss and television.

The whole rewarding positive behavior is crap. It is nice to do something nice when they do something nice. But if they come to expect rewards for doing the right thing...well...

There is right...and there is wrong. You shouldn't reward anyone for doing the right thing. You have to teach them to do the right thing because it's the right thing.

So now, it's bad to show children the consequences of their actions...

So between not spanking them, and not getting on them when they do something wrong, and not showing them the consequences of their actions...how much are our taxes going to need to go up to build the extra prisons that we will need as they come of age not knowing how to act properly in public or the difference in right and wrong.

It looks like the entire child development industry has lost the idea of "tough love." Tough love is the best way to teach a child. You are hard on them, but you make damn sure that they know that you love them and that you'll do anything that you can to help them.

Fair and Balanced...My Ass

The right has taken great glee for years in painting the liberal media as not being fair and giving voice to the concerns from their side of America's political and cultural conflict.

Good to see that they aren't hypocritical or anything.

Fox News has refused to run ads in opposition to the confirmation of Alito.

Useless Trivia Update...

New Useless Trivia question, plus a bonus question, is available here.

Sony CDs Will Screw Up Your Computer...

Important information from the guys over at This is Broken...

Check it out before you buy CDs.

This has class action lawsuit written all over it.

Bastards.

Update:

Texas Attorney General has announced an investigation into this as well.

Tell Me the One About the Economy Improving Again...

All of the following headlines have appeared during November 2005:

GM to cut 30,000 jobs, close 9 plants
---------------------------------------
Ford emails about 4,000 more job cuts
---------------------------------------
The Tribune Company[which publishes major newspapers in Los Angeles and Chicago] cuts 1,100 jobs
---------------------------------------
Delphi to cut 24,000 jobs
---------------------------------------
Hewlett Packard lays off 15,300
---------------------------------------

Looks to me like the energy industries' profits are whitewashing some dark things in our economy...not to mention those miraculous new jobs that are being created at...McDonalds, KFC, Walmart, and Burger King...

How many computer nerds does it take to sell a burger and fries?

How many auto plant assembly line workers does it take to fry chicken?

How many former newspaper personnel does it take to stock the shelves at Walmart?

I question the accounting practices being used to pump up employment and job creation figures that aren't so great.

Economy Side Note 1: I wonder if there is a resource that tracks jobs that are being outsourced.

I called TXU Electric, now called Atmos Energy, about an issue a couple of months ago...

I ended up talking with a very nice customer service rep who told me the issue would be resolved as soon as they could confirm all the information with their billing and accounting people...in Poland.

Economy Side Note 2: There should be some major job openings in the New Orleans area...if they decide to rebuild the city...and if they can get people to come back.

FEMA is going to screw around with this permanent temporary public housing and these displaced persons involved are going to stay in their new cities.

"Permanent temporary public housing" is not my term. I heard a FEMA rep use it on NPR this morning talking about the policy that they have implemented to move the evacuees out of current shelters and hotels/motels into "permanent temporary public housing."

The same rep said that if local ptp housing wasn't available that the Feds would move the evacuees again to wherever they could be housed...

Shouldn't the next time the evacuees get moved be back to the New Orleans area where they can start working to help rebuild their city and their economy?

The Inaugural Just Us Cup is Complete...

Our first champion in fantasy NASCAR racing is Jerry Hood, with driver Greg Biffle posted finishes in the Chase for the NEXTEL Cup which gave him 505 points.

And it all came down to the last race.

When the smoke and smell of burning rubber settled, Jerry won by 5 points over...well, me and Carl Edwards...dammit.

Not only that all told there were four position changes in the last week so it was a fairly tight race weekend.

Congrats to Jerry on his victory in Just Us Cup - 2005.

Join us for the 2006 season starting up in February at Daytona. It's as easy as picking a driver and letting me know that you want in.

Final Just Us Cup Standings:

1 Greg Biffle - Jerry Hood - 505
2 Carl Edwards - Mark Anderson - 500
3 Mark Martin - Jerry Hood - 475
4 Rusty Wallace - Nancy Cline - 390
5 Jeff Gordon - Craig Cline - 380
6 Jamie McMurray - Cadi Reid - 375
7 Kevin Harvick - John Ellison - 370
8 Dale Jarrett - Darla Kenny - 320
9 Kasey Kahne - Cadi Reid - 275
10 Dale Earnhardt Jr - Stephanie Cline - 265
11 Kenny Schrader - Mark Anderson - 210
12 Michael Waltrip - Cadi Reid - 165

Out of our drivers there will be some shake ups over the winter. Mark Martin instead of retiring as originally announced will drive at least one more season for Jack Roush...though the Viagra sponsorship deal may end this winter. Rusty Wallace is officially retired with Kurt Busch taking over the seat in the #2 Miller Lite car. Jamie McMurray will be in a new Roush car which will take the place of the #97 which Kurt Busch vacated. The car will be renumbered and sponsorship details are still being worked out. Kenny Schrader will be in the #21 Little Debbie/Air Force/Motorcraft Ford fielded by the Wood Brothers as was mentioned last week here at Through The Cigar Smoke. Michael Waltrip has ran his last race for DEI. His sponsors are going with him as he transitions to Bill Davis Racing, though whether his car will be renumbered or not has not been announced.

And thus, NASCAR 2005 comes to a close.

Damn, I'm going to be like a junkie looking for a fix in a week or two with no racing...I just don't think the Motorcross stuff that the Speed Channel is advertising is going to fit the bill.

Ah well...February isn't that far away.

NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Champion 2005 - Congrats to Tony Stewart and Joe Gibbs Racing

TONY STEWART
Driver of the #20 Home Depot-sponsored Chevy
NEXTEL Cup Champion 2005

Driver Profile, career and season stats are available here.

To see how your favorite driver finished in NEXTEL Cup, the Busch Series, or The Craftsman Truck Series visit Nascar.com by clicking here.

I Don't Think...

I don't think this was the original cover to this comic book.

I'm willing to bet that it has been manipulated somehow. Note the shadow on the door. The shadow looks like he is waggling a different finger.

HA!

It does make it look like a ghost story where the ghost doesn't want anybody to mess with him though, doesn't it?

NASCAR Busch Series Champion 2005: Congrats to Martin Truex Jr. and Dale Earnhardt, Incorporated

MARTIN TRUEX JR.
Driver of the #8 Bass Pro Shops-sponsored Chevy
BS Champion 2005

Driver Profile, career and season stats are available here.

Quality Advice from the Saudi Arabian King...

The U. S. Government, the oil companies, and the speculating markets won't take the advice, even thought it is good advice.

Everybody has to get their piece of the pie. And the oil companies have to get their profits.

Somebody tell me again that there wasn't price gouging on a corporate level at the major oil companies when prices have fallen almost a dollar per gallon in the last month...amazing that that would happen in the immediate aftermath of reports about the biggest, BIGGEST, profits for a single quarter ever reported by an oil company.

Imagine that.

Tropical Storm Gamma

The 5-day track on the storm is available here.

Go check it out...especially if you live in Cuba or Florida.

Official...Ken Schrader Driving for the Wood Brothers in 2006

A quality ride.

For a quality team.

He is considering not retiring at the end of 2006.

Wood Brothers have 97 wins since they came into the sport.

Schrader has won before. It has been awhile.

This could be a match made in heaven...

Even if I do have to walk around wearing a Little Debbie t-shirt and hat.

Life is good.

Complete story here.

And Schrader gets some love in the Arizona press from last week.

NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series Champion 2005: Congrats to Ted Musgrave and Ultra Motorsports

TED MUSGRAVE
Driver of the #1 Mopar-sponsored Dodge truck
NCTS Champion 2005

Driver Profile, career and season stats are available here.

He only had a 58 point lead over Dennis Setzer going into the race. The race was rain delayed last night and restarted at 8:30 this morning. Two wrecks happened down the stretch of the race...one right in front of Ted.

It was funny. His spotter lost it when the tires on Renshaw's Dodge started smoking and he couldn't see Ted through the smoke.

"Go high! No, go low! No, go high!"

And...Ted ignored him and sailed by and on to win the championship.

Sweet!

With the signing of this contract, maybe we can get a second South Park movie.

Sweet!

Bodies on Display

Crap like this is why I want to be cremated.

Where's the dignity? Where's the respect? What price do you put on those two aspects of human life?

$24.50

Disgusting.

Just sprinkle me someplace pretty and tell me goodbye.

Land of the Lost...

Nostalgia...you gotta love it.

Good to see...

...that Heidi Fleiss is getting her life together.

She's moving on after her jail time for the money laundering associated with her illegal activities as the Hollywood Madame where she provided models-turned-hookers for actors and others around the world.

She is going to work for a male brothel...in...Nevada...

Hmmm...

Never mind.

Pulling Out of Iraq...

House Democrats are calling for an immediate withdrawal from Iraq. I vote my conscience, sometimes Dem, sometimes Rep, sometimes Ind.

But these guys are full of crap.

There will be a 3-way Civil War in Iraq if we jump and pull immediately.

The Shias on one side.

The Sunnis on another.

And the Kurds on the third.

We would have our boys home, but there would be a blood bath of Biblical proportions in the Middle East...and it would be our fault.

Colin Powell warned the Bush Administration before the invasion of Iraq, "...if you break it, you bought it."

Well folks, we've bought it.

Realistically, do any of you see a "do-able" exit strategy? A way to get our troops home and not have the deaths of thousands of Iraqis or more on our national conscience.

It's not like Vietnam. There isn't a single strong enemy who can move in and take over as we move out. There is factionalism and tribalism on a grand scale over there.

It bothers me when I'm watching the nightly network news and seeing the casualty count continue ticking up. I keep thinking of a soldier's children growing up without a daddy.

But how do we live with ourselves if we pull out and that Civil War I mentioned comes to fruition.

And the Shia will win the Civil War when all is said and done...How can I call a war that hasn't even started yet? The Shia will be backed by the Iranians, who are majority Shia Arab.

The Kurds may be able to survive, if we stood with them. But if we are pulling back, how well can we stand with an ally inside Iraq. There are Kurds scattered throughout the Middle East in many countries. In all of those countries, they are largely a suppressed minority. So effectively, if we stood with them in this circumstance, we'd be reliving the Israel experience, an enclave of allies in a hornet's nest of potential enemies.

The Sunnis would end up backed by the Saudi Arabians. But I question how much help they would be. They are sitting on a powder keg all their own with the Wahabbi sect of Islam holding great power inside their country.

I still think a sniper's bullet would have been the proper way to deal with Saddam Hussein.

The Smoking Lamp-DC Comic's Green Lantern #5

TSL #61

SPOILER SPACE
.............
SPOILER SPACE
.............


Green Lantern #5
Johns
Van Sciver
DC Comics
Nov 05

I am digging on this.

I like the new iteration of the Black Hand. The whole "death becomes him" thing is excellent.

I am needing to translate the gremlin speak into English though. Whoda thunk it, alien gremlins who speak German.

I don't know if I like Hector Hammond, the Shark, and Black Hand all having similar origin elements.

I do like the Twilight Zone scene with the gremlins on the wing of the plane as Black Hand looks out at them...before they come inside and take him.

I wonder if it's going to connect back to Grodd and Gorilla City. It was stated a long time ago that the same meteor that caused the gorillas of Gorilla City to hyper-evolve was the same one or another fragment of the one that caused Hammond to evolve.

I wish we had gotten a page or so of why the Shark's appearance is so radically different than he was before. Maybe the German gremlins are behind it.

Putting a costume on the Shark in this form was stupid. They should have just gone with strategically placed bubble streams if there was something facing the "camera" that they didn't want to show. His wearing a costume in this form is sorta ridiculous.

I give it 8.5 out of 10 cigars.

puff

I Can't Believe...

Can you believe that this guy is the quintessential James Bond?

Do you know how much it hurts to see one of your childhood heroes like this?

The pic is from a 1974 sci-fi film named Zardoz.

Jeez, I'm glad I didn't see this before I saw my first James Bond movie. I just don't think Bond would have been near as cool if this was my first image of Sean Connery.

I wonder if he kept the costume after filming was done. Ick.

New Useless Trivia Question available...

Click Here.

What...

ADM and all those evil corn geneticists at the University of Nebraska are really up to...

Okay, maybe not.

I just ran across this picture and thought it was pretty neat.



The pic does give new context to thinking about what goes into our food though, doesn't it?

Son of a...

Tropical Depression #27...

Are these things gonna keep coming all winter long?

NASCAR Implementing the Roush Rules for 2006

Starting next year, teams will be limited in the number of cars they can field.

The limit...4 car teams.

This puts Roush beyond the veil with his 5 car team. Currently, he fields the #6-Viagra-Mark Martin, #17-DeWalt-Matt Kennseth, #16-Subway/Coast Guard-Greg Biffle, #97-Irwin/Crown Royal-Kurt Busch, #99-Office Depot/Scotts-Carl Edwards.

You'll notice that those are all five high tone names in the racing world. All five made it into the NEXTEL Cup Chase.

Going five for five must have pissed Roush's competition off.

True, next year they are going to be grandfathered in, but beyond that as contracts expire, they will be required to conform.

This is being shopped to the public as allowing the smaller teams to compete. The one and two car teams.

This is a shot directly at Roush by his competition, Hendrix Motorsports(4 cars), Joe Gibbs Racing(3 cars), Richard Childress Racing(3 cars), and Dale Earnhardt, Incorporated(2 cars)

The other thing that those teams have in common...they are all Chevys, while Roush is part of the Ford group. The only other major Ford teams is Robert Yates Racing(2 cars)

I'm not crying conspiracy...but its damned fishy to me.

Why wasn't the limit put at 5 cars, since a successful 5 car team already exists?

Happy Birthday to My Favorite Painter

Corner of the Garden at Montgeron


The Hunt


The Basin At Argenteuil


Claude Monet

Master of the brush stroke that barely touches the canvas. His paintings are some of those that you can stand in front of and stare deeply into.

Internet photos of his paintings just don't do them justice.

Classic Television...

There is a new service coming soon to a internet connected computer near you.

Warner Brothers is about to start offering reruns of classic television shows which don't normally make the rerun circuit.

There will be commercials, but instead of the standard 8 minutes of commercials per 30 minute program, there will only be 2 minutes. These 2 minutes of commercials will keep the service free.

This gives the WB a chance to turn a continuing profit on those shows that don't make it onto TVLand or the rerun circuit of your non-network affiliated local channel, which more and more turns its off peak hours over to infomercials rather than old school reruns.

There could be some fun things show up here.

Personally, I hope to find Barney Miller on something like this.

Click here for the full story from the New York Times.

Tornado Alley-East

The mid-eastern United States is under attack by a lot of tornadic activity over the last two weeks.

Check here for the full coverage.

Note: These photos are stock footage and not taken at the actual sites of the activity of the last two weeks.

Beware the Jolly Roger...

Less than a week ago, a cruise ship was chased off of Somalia and managed to evade pirates who shot at them with automatic weapons.

News reports out of Somalia claim that Somali pirates have attacked five ships in the past week.

Theory has it that the attackers are prowling the area in a mother ship from which they are launching their speedboat attacks on other ships.

Pirates...in 2005...whoda thunk it?

Scarier than Michael Myers

The producer behind Halloween was one of the victims of the hotel bombings in Jordan over the weekend. He was attending the wedding. His daughter, also, fell victim.

Madonna's Ass...Yes, I said Madonna's Ass

Recently saw her new video for the song "Hung Up".

The song is catchy in an Electronica, Disco-y kinda way.

My problem with the video is that there is no way that her advisors leveled with her about the video.

Madonna is hot. She has always been hot. And probably will always be hot.

But a 40-year old woman shouldn't, ever, cram her ass into a one piece pink leotard that let's that much of her seat cheeks stick out and bounce around like that.

I have nothing against 40-year old woman ass. I love 40-year old woman ass.

I just happen to think that 40-year old woman ass would look better naked...or in jeans or slacks, than half in/half out of that too-tight, pink danceskin that she wears in this video. It doesn't flatter her.

That said. Madonna is still hot. I forgive her.

Hip Hop Culture Adopts Omerta

Snitch!

Imagine that. Criminals wanting to institutionalize the stopping of snitches as a part of modern American culture.

The bad guys need to go to jail. And when good people turn their backs and ignore what is going on in their streets, the bad guys win.

Somebody Tell Prince Charles to Watch His Damned Hands

Getty always gets the best images.

Terror Attacks...

Hooray for Australia.

Their security forces caught 17 men in a terror plot similar to the London bombings from a couple of months ago.




Al-Qaida claims responsibility for the 50 deaths caused by the attacks in Jordan yesterday.

Jordan has joined Egypt, Indonesia and Iraq on the list of Arab nation targeted by al-Qaida.

One of the suicide bombers walked into a wedding reception in one of the hotels and detonated himself killing, both, the Jordanian bride and groom's fathers.

Al-Qaida will try to make the attack about the hotels where the Westerners stay. Pictures of that wedding massacre should be foremost on the media in the Middle East today. The Arab "Street" needs to see that this goes beyond collateral damage.

Darwin Awards Candidates...

Bosnian youths playing catch with live grenade.

Some live, some die, some are maimed...none should be allowed to procreate.

Click here.

So AOL Does Pop Up Orgasms...

I logged into AIM this morning, just to see if I could catch my baby online, so we could chat a bit before either one of us got too busy.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear...



Note the first headline under AOL Living...

I wonder if Parental Controls would have zapped this away if I had been an 11-year old.

Just seems sort of...risque for first thing in the morning.

I'm just saying.

And of course...you know...I clicked on it to see what it was. It was about make-up.

[blank stare]

Hmmm...I think anyone who thinks that putting on make-up has anything to do with orgasms really, really needs to pay more attention to their and their partner's naughty bits.

It's Never Good When an Old Friend Cracks Up.

This morning, I received a shock.

I grabbed a cup of coffee like always. I logged into my computer. And...

I realized that a puddle of my morning ritual life-giving elixir was forming under my coffee cup and creeping toward my computer mouse.

At first I thought I had spilled it. But...

No. No such luck.

My 3 Stooges coffee mug has a crack running from top to bottom opposite the handle.

So sad.

I love the Stooges.

Allegedly...

Two NFL cheerleaders for the Carolina Panthers allegedly drove to Tampa for an away game of their team. While in Tampa, they stopped in a local bar...apparently to get sauced and have sex with one another in the restroom.

So, what have we got here. Alleged NFL cheerleader lesbian sex in a bar restroom...didn't I see this on Cinemax the other night.

Click here for the full story.

Hey Steve, Is Your Passport Up To Date?

A Dutch designer has come up with an idea to help men buy bras for their wives and significant others.

It is a wall of breasts.

You compare. You contrast. You find the right size. You buy.

You wanna go to Holland.

I wonder if this guy designs mattresses too. That would be a great night's sleep there.

If It Walks Like a Duck, and Quacks Like a Duck, and...

NASCAR NEXTEL Cup driver Greg Biffle(#16-Subway/Coast Guard) was having a testing session at Phoenix when he ran across Jimmy Johnson(#48-Lowes).

Thing is Johnson was there testing the #25, not his #48.

NASCAR limits the number of tests per season for each team. They get a handful of 1 and 2 day tests that they can use at their discretion. Once they have used them up, they are done testing. Some teams save their tests and space them out through the year.

What did Hendrix and Johnson do that was so bad? They had a championship contender, Jimmy Johnson, who had used up his tests, go to Phoenix and test one of his teammates' cars. Instead of his #48, he was in the #25. Brian Vickers(25-UAW Delphi) wasn't even there.

So what you have here is Johnson getting track time, on a track with an upcoming race, in violation of the rules. If they wanted to test on a mile and a half oval so bad, all they had to do was go to a track that isn't on the NASCAR circuit. Tests on those tracks don't count against the test total, because they aren't part of the NEXTEL Cup race schedule.

Seems like this violates the wording of the rule if not the intent.

Johnson claims he was there "filling in" for the #25 team.

Uh huh? Sure. We believe you.

It reeks.

But he works for Jeff Gordon(#24-DuPont)...what do you expect?

Philadelphia Eagles-Football Team Drama

It's sad really.

Terrell Owens isn't a nice guy. He's a cancer waiting to happen on a football team.

But that said, he is a hell of a player. Probably the #1 receiver in the game today.

With all his problems, all you have to do to keep him happy and focused is pay him what he's worth and throw him the damned ball. He's also never played with a strong quarterback, someone who takes charge of his team and the game.

In Owen's defense, let's not forget that he hurried his recovery from one of those "horse collar" tackle injuries last year so that he could be there for his team in the Super Bowl. And he played his ass off in that game.

I think the majority of the Eagles' problems devolve on the team leadership. If McNabb would have got with Owens and made peace with him and worked on their relationship then they would be a force to be reckoned with. Instead, they are going to piss on one another and here we are.

I wonder if McNabb has "There can only be one star on my team and that's me" syndrome.

The focus on McNabb as victim yesterday by the media was crap. He is being anointed and he hasn't done anything yet.

His career path isn't going to put him in the rarefied high yardage air where Favre, Marino, and Elway live.

He's gone to the NFC Championship a lot. He's went to the Super Bowl, once, and lost. Hmmm, that makes him Jim Kelly doesn't it. That might not be a fair comparison...because I like Jim Kelly and there was never any doubt that the team in Buffalo was Kelly's.

After 4 weeks of suspension, the Eagles will have to make a decision regarding Owens. At that point, he will probably be released unless they opt to keep him on the team and just eat his contract. If he is released, he will go through waivers. Waivers would make him available to the entire league in reverse order of standings. Houston Texans and Green Bay Packers are 1-2 on that list.

The Houston Texans coaching staff probably don't want him. So, that is most likely a "no-go".

Back up and take a look at the Packers receiver corps since Javon Walker went down. Antonio Chapman, Donald Driver, and...who? Wonder how much it would cost to have Owens play the remainder of this season and if Favre would even want him around on "his" team?

Update.

Again, I'm gonna say all it would have taken was some leadership.

Saying, "The team's better off without him," after the fact isn't leadership.

Sending Hugh Douglas in to the training room to call him out about an injury to his ankle isn't leadership.

I don't think the Eagles have been a good solid team in the leadership department since the Dick Vermeil/Ron Jaworski days.

Ah well...maybe Andy Reid will be available to take the job in Green Bay when it opens up in a few weeks...provided he isn't made GM as well.

Gland-handing Good Ol' Boy!

From the Sic! section of Michael Quinon's excellent World Wide Words weekly newsletter(Issue #466) came this messed up newspaper notice from the Guardian newspaper.

...in the Guardian last Saturday about the role of Karl Rove in mentoring the US president provoked disturbed musings about the latter's predilections: "Mr Rove found Mr Bush as a gland-handing good 'ol boy trading on his family name and his
charm."

I always find something interesting in Mr. Quinon's newsletters whether it be misuses of words as above or words that are either new or obscure.

All in all, very interesting stuff.

Man, Glued to Toilet Seat, Sues Home Depot

Can't you just see the Manager's face.

"Right...sure there's a guy glued to the toilet in the restroom. Sure there is."

Poor bastard.

Click here for the full story.

Glue...It's Not Just For Sniffin' Anymore

There are so many things wrong with this story...

1. The man went to his ex-girlfriend's house.

2. He fell asleep at his ex-girlfriend's house.

3. She super glued his genitals to his abdomen.

4. She super glued his butt cheeks together.

5. She wrote a profanity on his back in nail polish.

And my favorite...

6. Her attorney claims that it was a consensual act.

I don't know about you, but back in my younger days, I couldn't wait for Friday and Saturday night. So, I could run out, get my drink on, and pick me up a honey to glue my stuff all together and shut.

I've got one word for this...

Shit.

UPDATE: Okay, the judge ruled. In the criminal case, she had to spend six months...probation for misdemeanor assault. Jeez, that's all. If the man had glued a woman's boobs down and glued her...stuff shut, I bet he'd have gotten a year or more in jail, no probation.

Then, in the civil case...are you ready for this. The poor bastard's genitals were glued to his abdomen and his butt cheeks were glued together and then...then, he had to walk a mile or so to call for help. How much? What's the dollar figure?

$46,000.00.

[blank stare]

This reeks of gender specific legalisms to me. I guarantee if it had been a man doing this to a woman, he'd have done more time and had to pay more money on the civil side.

Jeez.

You're still breakin' up the band, Yoko

I think in John's memory they should really be trying extra hard to get along.

Check out the latest story here.

The Smoking Lamp - 3 For 1

The Smoking Lamp #58, 59, and 60

3 For 1 covering Parts 4, 5, and 6 of the JLU-2001/Marvel 2000 JLA-Avengers Team-Up.

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TSL #58

Marvel 2000
Avengers #38
Chapter Four:
CSA and Punishment!

Written by Curt Fernlund
Story by Chris Munn and Curt Fernlund

Dr. Midas is putting all of his eggs in one basket and just hoping they work. That seems odd. More like he put together a junkyard of equipment, along with Count Nefaria, and launched the lot into the Negative Zone. With his precious daughter…Maybe it’ll all turn out okay…hmmm.

So…Midas thinks there's no way his plan can fail. That is classic villain overconfidence. This is going to go badly. I can feel it.

Crime Syndicate vs. the Avengers. Mmmm, mmmm, good.

So a 60 year old vibranium-admantium alloy shield can hurt Ultra-Man. Good. Hope Cap survives the experience. I know it was unreasonable to want it. But I so wanted to see Captain America stomp the crap out of Ultraman. I know. I know. That is horribly fanboy of me…so shoot me, I like Cap.

Johnny Quick as dope fiend always freaks me out when I read it. Its well done here.

Johnny Woo may be a bad ass. But taunting Super Woman might be a bad idea. Okay…maybe not. Maybe Johnny Woo is a bad ass, plain and simple. Cool stuff.

HA! God, I love Cap’s shield. Greatness.

The CSA didn’t match up with the Avengers nearly as well as the Squadron Supreme matched up with the JLA last issue. Maybe if the Heroes of Angor/the Justifiers had a bigger profile they would have been just what the doctor ordered. Anyway, cool fight.

Why Owlman instantly assumes that the JLA are coming is a little beyond me? But it does set up the big fight for next issue.

I think the crossover is cresting and receding like it naturally would. Last issue marked a crest. And I fully expect it to crest again. This story suffered for some reason. It might be more a function of the way the Avengers and CSA match up than anything wrong with the story itself. And though I’m giving it a lesser rating than last issue, this is still a damned good story.

7.0 of 10

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TSL #59

JLU-2001
JLA #32
Avengers/JLA teamup
Part Five: All Out War
By Chris Munn

HA! Hawkeye recognizes them as enemies instantly. I would posit that it is the foul influence of the Jemas and the Quesada on all the characters of that universe. HA!
I hope there’s an explanation of how Wanda and Thor knew that GL had killed someone. With the precognition that Owlman exhibited out of left field in the last issue, it seems too cut and dried.

Alright. I should have thought about the Arcanna effect from the conflict with the Squadron Supreme issue before last.

And Duh! I had forgotten about Owlman’s ability to momentarily dominate the minds of others without their knowledge. Its not too much of a leap from that ability to his being able to sense minds that he has dealt with before and knowing that the JLA were the ones coming through the rift.

The scenes involving Nefaria and Oubliette are the best put together of the lot. They seem the most natural in the way they are presented. They would have made a good Odd Couple for a Super Villain Team Up-style story at some point. I said would because I expect one or both of them to be dead by the time we hit the end of the crossover.

Wow! The award for Best Entrance that I gave to the CSA last issue…I’m taking back. It belongs to Annihilus. Cool.

No way. You didn’t just kill the Surfer, did you? Well, at least Nefaria is skydiving into the Exploding Atmosphere along with him.

Black Canary vs. Hawkeye: This left me conflicted. I wanted Dinah to win. But I didn’t want Clint to lose. Bummer.

Black Panther vs. Batman: This is one of the best matchups so far in the crossover.

The Martian Manhunter vs. Warbird: Hmm, he attacks by pummeling her chest. Is this the Power Girl strategem? Sorry. Had to be said.

Wow! The building that the fight is taking place on will need to be demolished…if it survives the fight between the Avengers and JLA.

Could the anger manipulation/amplification be part of the Arcanna effect or from the anti-energy bleeding into the posi-matter universe. Hmmm?

Flash vs. the Beast: Good stuff.

I like the impromptu guest apparition of Mr. Terrific. Always good to have Plas around.

Okay…Wow! The cliffhanger endings in this crossover are great. This one…Annihilus, Thor killing or almost killing GL…Wow!

The Avengers and JLA fighting each other leaves me conflicted. The writing and the battles were well done. It just gives me heartburn watching these two heroic configurations of my youth beat the crap out of one another.

Good stuff.

8.0 of 10

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TSL #60

Marvel 2000

Avengers #39
Avengers/JLA teamup
Part Six: The Cosmic Bond
By Curt Fernlund and Chris Munn

Nice to see the handle that you guys have on Constantine. I’m cool. I smoke. I’m a bad ass with a bad attitude. I’m John Constantine. HA!

Love getting to see Dr. Occult. One of my favs.

And Constantine being an ass to the Phantom Stranger as he delivers his catch phrase is great.

One of my favorite lines of the series so far. “Y' gotta put these poofs in their places once in awhile, luv. They do tend t' get uppity, know what I mean?”

I’ve never been able to get a handle on Adam Warlock. Is he supposed to be on the side of the angels or is it always his own side? Is he the Marvel Universe’s Metron, just out for his own goals and playing on the side of the good guys cause more often than not their goals coincide with his own? Shrug.

Thanos asking Genis to have faith in him. That would make a very nice comic book page. I can just picture the looks on their faces. As Pip stands behind them with a curl of smoke rising from his cigar.

I love how guest star rich the story is. Man-Thing, Ganthet, and Quasar. Excellent.
And one of my favorite Marvel villains of all-time puts in an appearance…Excellent.

8.0 of 10

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If this peeks your curiosity, let me know and I'll email you the links to the stories.

NASCAR's new car

The fifth test of the so-called "car of the future" went off with very few hitches.

The car is going to be larger and blockier. It provides more opportunities to have the car be manufacturer specific.

The aerodynamic packages will change significantly from today's feather touch.

One of the test drivers referred to it as being a lot like a '55 Chevy, taller roofline and such.

One of the dings on the old design was that taller drivers were cramped in the cockpit almost to the point of being dangerous. The new design addresses this.

I don't think that a car that lends itself to more bump drafting is a good thing, but cars that aren't so dependent on aerodynamic tweaks will be a good thing.

Maybe its just me but...

Myanmar in Southeast Asia has announced that it has slashed its opium production by 26 percent.

[Scratches head]

They, even, reference actual tonnage.

[Scratches head]

If they know how much production there is in the country to this degree of accuracy, why can't they stop it all?

Is it that big a piece of their national economy?

Click on picture above for an informative site on this and other drug issues.

Paris is burning...

6 nights in a row, unrest has swept some of Paris' poorest suburbs.

The trigger for all this...Two French teenagers were killed while running from the police. They were apparently electrocuted.

And of course, The Powers That Be in France are playing politics ahead of their Prime Ministerial elections in 2007 with Villepin, current Prime Minister, on one side and Sarkozy, current Interior Minister, on the other.

The "No-go" areas concept has been bandied about. "No-go" areas in peacetime France...what the hell? I can understand that in Iraq, but France...

Habitual Offender in Sticky Situation

3 strikes...

Guy had a criminal record.

He stole 75 gallons of maple syrup.

When he got caught, he had enough marijuana in his house to ramp it up to felony possession.

He could be going to jail for LIFE under the habitual offender statutes.

Sticky.